Of Siblings and Eccentricities
by asthmatichufflepuff
Summary: Rather short drabbles about the brothers Kanda, Alma, and Allen. Modern-verse!AU. (Don't expect much.)
1. Of Rumors

In the neighborhood, the Ling family was known to be -

1) a foolproof burglar prevention system,

2) the reason why the annual city parade never went down their street, and

3) weird.

The first was due every neighbor being firmly sure that the eldest, Kanda "Urusai" Yu, would provide an unnecessary, free appendectomy on any poor thief he spotted with his eagle eyes. The neighbors were also firmly sure that the other two would cheer him on happily. And bring popcorn.

The second was because of both Kanda and Alma Karma. Kanda would get annoyed by the loud yelling and obnoxiously colorful floats and inflatable toys, while Alma had a unique (read: exasperating, unexplainable) phobia of balloons.

The third was contributed to by Kanda, Alma, and the youngest, adoptive boy in the Ling household: Allen, who was only invited to big parties because otherwise he would eat the refreshments at small get-togethers until there was not even a crumb of cake left. Allen, who was responsible for an impressive total of eleven teachers quitting their jobs at Black Order High. Allen, who was a Concert Master in piano, had turned down offers of being a professional singer, and had a strange obsession with mitarashi dango.

Alma and Kanda were famous in their reputation of being more possessive/overprotective of the sorta-albino.

Or, as Allen's classmate Road Kamelot put it: Sprout complex - which afflicted most residents of Grayman Town at least once or twice in a lifetime.


	2. Of Police

The police of Grayman Town weren't concerned that three teens in high school were living by themselves.

Chief policeman Seis T. Five put it this way: "They help us on some cases; we don't bother them."

Inspector Link was a bit more detailed - "They'd destroy all known universes if we tried to file a lawsuit."


	3. Of Redheads

Lavi Bookman, grandson to the old owner of the local bookstore and antiques shop, experienced his first attack of Sprout Complex when he was sweeping the dust away from the store entrance.

Lavi brightened up when he saw a familiar head of silver hair.

He really didn't think doing so deserved punishment, but Panda-jiji was strict that way.

"Mister Walker," the diminutive man droned, "hopefully here to shop?" Lavi writhed on the floor, clutching his throbbing skull.

"Oh! I'm not really sure," Allen replied, smiling sweetly before turning to face the two lurking behind him, "Are we?"

Kanda grunted something unintelligible as he flipped his ponytail sassily.

"If we find something we like and can easily afford," Alma translated serenely.

Kanda 'che'd.

"Probably a book of video game cheats and _another damn collection of piano songs_," Alma added.

Panda-jiji nodded and opened the entrance door, bells jangling as the siblings stepped in.

"Please don't be so harsh to Lavi-san," Allen added as an afterthought, "I do believe he was born that way."

Lavi fell into a spell.

For the rest of their time in Ye Olde Bookman's Stuffe, Lavi flitted around the petite teen, randomly spouting questions like, "Do you need any help?" "Do you want some water?" etc, etc.


	4. Of Relationships

Of course, if you asked the college admin, Komui Lee, he'd say that he had a friendship with Allen because there was no chance of the teen ever getting in a relationship with Lenalee.

Why?

Everyone knew that the formidable Road Kamelot had set her sights on the youngest Ling.

Everyone felt bad for the youngest Ling, ignoring the obvious fact that Allen and Road were inseparable friends who like to partake in gang fights together.

(Actually, the police had paid Allen to take the local thugs down a bit. Road had insisted on tagging along, saying something about not letting "Allen-kun" get hurt.)

(And did the authoress forget to mention that Road coined the term "Sprout complex" because she had a permanent case of it herself?)


	5. Of Dinners

When you looked into the lives of the Ling brothers, they were close as they could be.

One of their Tuesday dinners:

"Kanda-nii," Allen stated matter-of-factly, "I want ice cream."

"After you finish your fucking peas -" Kanda started, but was cut off by an indignant Alma clamping a hand over his lips and hissing viciously.

"For the last time, don't cuss around Otouto!"

"...che." Kanda fingered the wooden katana he carried everywhere.

Allen remained oblivious as he gnawed on a chicken bone cutely, asking, "Then can I have some jelly beans?"

"No."

"...Please?"

This time, Kanda reprimanded Alma. "You know better that to fall for Beansprout Otouto's puppy-dog shit."

"I know."

"Nii-san, what does 'shit' mean?" Allen asked.

Dammit.


	6. Of Bars

Lenalee Lee had a type of sisterly relationship with the elusive Allen, and had had it since she was seven and Allen was six.

As of now, she was in the same grade as Alma.

Her most recent case of Sprout complex was when she had dragged Allen to a bar, curious as to what the lithe teen would be like when drunk.

Then a burly man sat next to the two and started hitting on the albino.

"Hey, you need a ride tonight, babe?"

_Complex activated._

Steam almost literally shooting out of her ears, Lenalee had promptly kicked the stranger in the face and _down there_, then dragged a clueless Allen out the door and to the Ling house. He was sipping a martini peacefully, watching the distant figure of the writhing man get smaller and smaller.

(Lenalee-chan's high-heels were lethal, he observed idly.)

"...Lenalee-chan?" He asked, blinking. "Why did we leave?"

"There was an avid stench of lecherous perverts in the air," she replied smoothly-yet-irritably.

He didn't question it.


	7. Of Gambling

Allen swiveled his head around to stare at Uncle Cross. "Did you say _dango_?"

"Yes, I did. Brat."

"Don't do it, Allen!" Alma hollered, but his voice was muffled outside of the room. "He'll be putting the bill on our tab!"

"You brats can pay it off anyway, you have money," Marian Cross sniffed before turning back to the youngest. "And in return, I'll be borrowing you for tonight. How do you feel about winning me some?"


End file.
